I have made an executive decision:
If we are in a meeting, and you seem fine and we aren’t friends, there is no need for you to say, apropos of nothing, anything like this:
“You know, it’s only my third week back at work. I’ve been out for two months because I had surgery. Surgery! Back in October.”
Sorry, but that doesn’t really trigger many of my sympathy triggers. “Only” your third week back? And I didn’t even know you were gone? I may be a total dick for this, but I call this a blatant play for pity (and an excuse for why you aren’t prepared for this meeting that you yourself requested,) and I’m not interested.